Well hellloo grass :) haha. I don't know how to make background pictures smaller on here and I am tired of trying to figure it out! So thenceforth, it shall remain so.
I am having an interesting Saturday so far. It's a totally beautiful day out there, by the way. I woke up with the sun shining on my face and looked outside and there was just white everywhere... on the tree limbs, on the car, on the...ground, everywhere. And it was just like a candyland scene, one with sugar frosting covering everything. The sun just intensified it, you know? Everything sparkles.
Anyways. I better do something productive today :)
Saturday, January 30, 2010
Friday, January 22, 2010
life evaluation #17,584,920
(*NOTE: I am going to just go ahead and stick with my theme of complainingness on here... I just need to get stuff out :) )
Call it growing up.
Call it just being sad and having a bad outlook.
Call it...the end of innocence.
Is there something wrong with me, or is it just part of growing up?
I almost never get that feeling that "all is right in the world" anymore.
It's like life is just one big series of struggles and situations that stress me out and albeit, there are definitely small happinesses in the day to day events, but mainly life just seems...hard.
There is no one anymore to just simply take care of everything.
to take care of you.
To make you dinner and let you just run off and take care of your own life and not worry about others'.
To take care of the family.
I know now that nothing will ever be perfect.
I know that in life I am going to have to work hard, and dang hard, for things I want. Even love.
I know that even the best piano performance in the world that I could do won't make me an idol. Maybe people will think about it for an hour afterwards. Maybe. Then they will go on living their own lives.
I know that I am not the best. I know i'm somewhere in the middle.
I know that there will always be bad days where I feel like just giving up, but i'll have to make the choice to go on.
I know that I probably won't find the person I am going to marry next. I'll most likely have to go through at least another broken heart in my lifetime.
Those small things don't fill me with joy anymore, like a beautiful, crisp fall apple or even something as simple as washing my hands with good smelling soap under warm water.
Call it the end of idealism?
Or just reality?
Call it growing up.
Call it just being sad and having a bad outlook.
Call it...the end of innocence.
Is there something wrong with me, or is it just part of growing up?
I almost never get that feeling that "all is right in the world" anymore.
It's like life is just one big series of struggles and situations that stress me out and albeit, there are definitely small happinesses in the day to day events, but mainly life just seems...hard.
There is no one anymore to just simply take care of everything.
to take care of you.
To make you dinner and let you just run off and take care of your own life and not worry about others'.
To take care of the family.
I know now that nothing will ever be perfect.
I know that in life I am going to have to work hard, and dang hard, for things I want. Even love.
I know that even the best piano performance in the world that I could do won't make me an idol. Maybe people will think about it for an hour afterwards. Maybe. Then they will go on living their own lives.
I know that I am not the best. I know i'm somewhere in the middle.
I know that there will always be bad days where I feel like just giving up, but i'll have to make the choice to go on.
I know that I probably won't find the person I am going to marry next. I'll most likely have to go through at least another broken heart in my lifetime.
Those small things don't fill me with joy anymore, like a beautiful, crisp fall apple or even something as simple as washing my hands with good smelling soap under warm water.
Call it the end of idealism?
Or just reality?
Saturday, January 9, 2010
planning
AHH. I HATE PLANNING STUFF!! I hate being the one to figure everything out for everyone, and coordinate all the scheduling, and do everything while everyone else doesn't do anything.
I don't like just planning my life, and figuring out where to go to college and figuring out everything else. I just want to LIVE my life, and I don't like holdups. Jeepers.
For some reason I am just a little bit angry right now.
Breath, breath.
Sorry that these posts are always sort of on the troubled side :)
I don't like just planning my life, and figuring out where to go to college and figuring out everything else. I just want to LIVE my life, and I don't like holdups. Jeepers.
For some reason I am just a little bit angry right now.
Breath, breath.
Sorry that these posts are always sort of on the troubled side :)
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