(*NOTE: I am going to just go ahead and stick with my theme of complainingness on here... I just need to get stuff out :) )
Call it growing up.
Call it just being sad and having a bad outlook.
Call it...the end of innocence.
Is there something wrong with me, or is it just part of growing up?
I almost never get that feeling that "all is right in the world" anymore.
It's like life is just one big series of struggles and situations that stress me out and albeit, there are definitely small happinesses in the day to day events, but mainly life just seems...hard.
There is no one anymore to just simply take care of everything.
to take care of you.
To make you dinner and let you just run off and take care of your own life and not worry about others'.
To take care of the family.
I know now that nothing will ever be perfect.
I know that in life I am going to have to work hard, and dang hard, for things I want. Even love.
I know that even the best piano performance in the world that I could do won't make me an idol. Maybe people will think about it for an hour afterwards. Maybe. Then they will go on living their own lives.
I know that I am not the best. I know i'm somewhere in the middle.
I know that there will always be bad days where I feel like just giving up, but i'll have to make the choice to go on.
I know that I probably won't find the person I am going to marry next. I'll most likely have to go through at least another broken heart in my lifetime.
Those small things don't fill me with joy anymore, like a beautiful, crisp fall apple or even something as simple as washing my hands with good smelling soap under warm water.
Call it the end of idealism?
Or just reality?
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Dear Caitlin,
ReplyDeleteYour piano skills did in fact influence me! Your talent showed me a little glimpse of God, in a way I can't really explain. It does seem like a lot of work for a small portion of glory, but you did me a service by putting such effort into your talents and showing me that I can be better too. You are a blessing in my life!